Do today’s romantic partners have “this time is different” syndrome?

The “this time is different” syndrome, as described by Reinhart and Rogoff, is the idea that, considering past financial crisis, countries and creditors have learned from their mistakes.
But do romantic partners experience this syndrome too?
“This time is different”, these are the four most dangerous words economists believe there to be. It comes from the collective agreement that past financial crises have built a foundation for better crisis management, though to many, this is simply a mechanism of denial.
Thie illusion that things will be different reflects a dangerous optimism: the belief that lessons from the past have finally been learned.
A striking example is the belief that domestic debt can act as a stabilizer during a crisis. Domestic debt arises when governments borrow from residents or institutions of their own country. Many nations have leaned into this confidence, only to discover that domestic debt does not eliminate risk. What appears stable becomes the quiet amplifier of a crisis, portraying how the “this time is different” syndrome results in false reassurance – a fragile sense of security.
But this illusion isn’t confined to markets or governments. It seeps into the way we love. Just as economists convince themselves they will be prepared for another crisis because it will look different, we too convince ourselves that the next time, the next apology, the next promise will change the trajectory of a romantic relationship.
What if these same four dangerous words offered us protection instead?
For many of us, the words “this time is different” feed into a powerful sense of reassurance – one we have worked so hard to dismantle. How many times have we told ourselves that with them, there is no such thing as reassurance, there is only illusion, not reality? But these four words, they hug us, they create a safety net. To us, they translate to: “I’m ready to change – this time, for real”.
But what is this safety net created against? What are we being protected from?
Just as governments take on risk believing they’re shielded by control, we take on emotional risk believing we’re protected by promises. Our risk reflects the dangers of falling again, of trusting once more and being heartbroken all over. This risk and this feeling of protection create a moral hazard. Economics defines moral hazard as individuals or institutions that take riskier actions because they feel protected against possible consequences.
So, for us, hearing these words creates a protection against the risk of deep ache that arises from heartbreak. We see the same false reassurance and sense of security, but this time it’s emotional rather than financial.
When they come back, they don’t only bear the fruit of toxic cycles-, they also feed a distinct narrative that always has the same ending: heartache. It’s deeper than just four words – it is the beginning of another season of learning. By accepting the words “this time is different”, we enter another yet chapter of the same story. See, you won’t suffer from heartbreak just once; heartbreak is not an exceptional event. It is an integral feature of our lives.
Reinhart and Rogoff’s research reminds us of the need to recognize the root of financial crises rather than overemphasising the illusion of these crises being spontaneous and unpredictable.
In today’s dating world, there is a deep need to recognize and dispel the “this time is different” syndrome amongst romantic partners to break toxic cycles and embrace the complexities of finding soulful love and rejoicing in the process.
Perhaps today’s society does have more romantic partners embodying “this time is different” mindset. If so, I’d argue that it may be because we are fuelling it through our reliance on deceptive comfort.
In a world where returning is easier than rebuilding, why would we choose the uncertainty of healing over the familiarity of being hurt? It’s easier for this syndrome to survive. To thrive.
It is our job as a society to dismantle the growing “this time is different” mindset. People do change, and some do return hoping things will be different, but recognizing that hope for what it is and choosing to believe in it is a risk we take each time we let someone back into our lives.
Perhaps the question is not “Do today’s romantic partners have ‘this time is different’ syndrome?”.
Perhaps the question to ask ourselves is, “Why is the ‘this time is different’ syndrome persisting amongst us, and is our attachment to familiarity allowing it to thrive?”

© Mariana Valentina Tabares. 2025 . All rights reserved.